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Why Do Liberals Think Homosexuality Mirrors Heterosexuality?

Often my posts revolve around me giving you information, or at least opinion. But this post is more about me asking you rather than telling you something. Im a bit baffled, by the tendency of people to perceive homosexuality as simply a mirror of heterosexuality. IE perceiving homosexuals to be just like heterosexuals, other than the fact that they are same-sex attracted, and perceiving homosexual relationships to have the same characteristics as heterosexual relationships, eg in terms of level of commitment, longevity, monogamy etc. That argument contradicts the facts.

partner statistics

It’s known that homosexuals experience differences in average relationship longevity (Ref. 2, Ref. 3, Ref. 4), monogamy (Ref. 2, Ref. 3, Ref. 4, Ref. 5, even if married, tendency to “hook up“, and higher rates of sexual addiction. Even the New York Times, CNN and the UKs Independent have reported that gay relationships differ from straight ones. These differences play a part in explaining why their HIV rates etc etc ( are higher. I note here that HIV has been described by authorities as the world’s most deadly infectious disease, and contracted by 1 in 5 sexually active homosexual American men, with half of all black gay men predicted to contract it (ref. 2). It also helps explain why HIV is so often (ref. 2, ref. 3) caught from a long-term/primary partner. And HIV in turn has a variety of huge impacts too.

It’s interesting to see Ricky Martin talk of the non-monogamous tendencies of gay men, as being healthy and liberating, while others point to gay hookup culture as having a negative impact on mental health.

There are differences in other areas also, such as higher rates of mental disorders (ref. 2, ref. 3), eating disorders, lesbian obesity, depression and substance abuse (ref. 2, ref. 3) including tobacco consumption (ref. 2), and steroid use compared to heterosexuals (I previously included intimate partner violence, Ref. 2, in this list, but I now note that reports on this vary considerably, perhaps geographically). And it’s been said that “gay culture often revolves around alcohol and drugs”, even with higher rates of criminal behavior. Gay men also suffer an elevated incidence of cancer (ref. 2) with 20 times the average risk of anal cancer. And those who engage in anal sex are at greater risk of haemorrhoids and some say (ref. 2) greater risk of anal leakage too. Their bios can be very sobering.
Gay and lesbian people themselves (ref. 2 ,ref 3), have pointed out differences between themselves and others, EG a tendency for older gay men to be more juvenile or perpetually adolescent than straight men, with a greater idealising of youth (ref. 2). If you think that there is absolutely no difference between gay and straight people, compare the content of a gay magazine from a straight one. Compare advertising aimed at gay people with advertising aimed at straight people.

An actual post from Facebook.

An actual post from Facebook, blurred by me.

There are some people who seem traditional, conservative and removed from nitty gritty of life, who you might assume would have little understanding or insight into the nature of homosexuality. For example, perhaps a homekeeper wife of a well off businessman living in a safe conservative suburb in the South. And then there are those on the opposite end of the spectrum, who are not averse to talking about porn or sexual topics that would make the former group blush. It’s these latter group of people who I would assume would have more of an insight into homosexuality and would realise how a classic homosexual lifestyle (IE inner city living, including a high degree of socialising with other homosexuals) differs from a classic heterosexual lifestyles. Which of the two groups do you think Howard Stern would belong to? I would think the latter group. Big time.


I dont listen to him often, but I listened to him for an hour today, talking largely about homosexuality. And I was intrigued to find that even he feels that homosexuality mirrors heterosexuality. Even him. Why is this? Every now and again you can find a gay person express (EG2) how they believe that gay people differ from straight people. Some GLBTs express frustration about elements of the GLBT community that they perceive to be pushing a false image of what it means to be GLBT. Academic and author of gay literature, Dennis Altman, has reflected (FODI marketing, 2013) on gay marriage by stating “If the mobilising issue for the gay community is the right to emulate the traditional family with marriage and children, homosexual identity has been sacrificed for social acceptance.”

I think the notion that gay people are just a mirror image of straight people, is based in assumption. People know what straight marriages are like, so they just assume that gay marriages would be the same. They dont factor in for example, that it’s been found that gay people in non-monogamous relationships are still equally satisfied with their relationships. Or is the public in denial? Interestingly, Joseph Sciambra, the man behind the viral youtube clip about deaths of gay porn actors (250,000 views), has said even in 2015, many are in denial about their gay friends and relatives having died from AIDS. Why will people not face reality?

I guess a key cause of all this misunderstanding is the “sacred cow” censorship of anything critical of homosexuality these days (EG).

When presented with the differences between average heteros and average homos, those who believe the two groups are otherwise the same, will sometimes express confusion or surprise. Other times they will offer various excuses, but most often will attribute discrimination as the cause of the differences. They claim that once society no longer discriminates based on sexuality, there will be no statistical differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Do they realise the flawed and weak basis they have for this claim, which is disputed by those who have seriously studied it (EG Mayer and McHugh)? Do they realize that even GLB people have rejected this argument?


20 Comments on “Why Do Liberals Think Homosexuality Mirrors Heterosexuality?”

  1. askthebigot says:

    I so appreciate your blog, the stats, and the level-headed commentary. I quoted a large swath of some comments you made in a response to my post:

    Also, the link “number of sexual partners over a lifetime” above isn’t working. I am curious about the source.

  2. Tapman says:

    You might want to ask yourself why the statistics tell you these things? Statistics were used to fight against inter-racial marriage. Are you suggesting we can’t mirror blacks the same as whites? You know they are born that way right – you cant change the color of your skin.

    Marginalized people generally feel pretty bad and often fall into depression which leads to all kinds of things. Christians help to create the problem and then use the statistics against them……yes that is what Jesus would do……not.

    • stasisonline says:

      Good point about the racial comparison, Tapman. Are you proposing that some things should not be discussed though? I dont believe in such sacred cows. EG the fact that some races have higher rates of incarceration. I think that such things should be discussed, so that a solution can be found. To sweeping ugly facts under the rug. is to be complicit in the continuation of a problem.

  3. Tapman says:

    It scares me to think what the intent of this post is….it seems to me that you are making the implication that Gay people are somehow lesser than us, not as good. You haven’t used the word but you may as well be biblical – an abomination. Com’on stasisonline your better than that.

    • stasisonline says:

      I think all people are precious in God’s eyes Tapman, and that fundamentally he loves everyone equally. And yes, the intention of this blog is that it’s based on a Biblical perspective – you cant get better than that.

    • stasisonline says:

      Thanks Tapman. The arguments are remarkably similar, which is surprising to me, since I perceive the two issues to be quite different.

      • Tapman says:

        That is the difference – I see the Gender issue exactly the same as the racist issue – you can’t choose your Gender or your race. Many argue otherwise saying that your race doesn’t make you do yucky things – but again we are disgusted with the sex thing.

      • stasisonline says:

        I dont think I grasp your comment, Tapman. I dont see a connection between doing yucky things and the question of whether you choose your gender or race.

      • Tapman says:

        Racism and homophobia are very similar. People find it hard to believe it is the same issue. You do not choose your race or gender, what colour hair you have etc. Part of gender is your sexual orientation, you do not choose this – it is not a sin – if it is a sin it is like no other. The same fears, the same arguments, the same bigotry is in force now as it was when blacks were marginalized, and believe me, they were bible believing christians as well.

      • stasisonline says:

        Well I agree that there are elements of racism that are similar to anti-gay sentiment. And I agree that you do not choose the racial characteristics that you are born with or the colour of hair that you are born with, or the sex that you are born as. Im not familiar with the notion that a person’s sexual orientation is a part of their gender, assuming that you are stating that as a universal rule. That idea is foreign to me, and Id need a reference to a recognised authority believing this notion, before I could accept it. I now see why I couldnt grasp your earlier comment about yuckyness.
        I also agree with you that sexual orientation is not sinful in itself. I think it’s behaviour and attitudes that the Bible depicts as sinful, eg lust (heterosexual or homosexual), sex outside of marriage, divorce, and homosexual sex.
        I suggest that your characterisation of those who marginalise blacks, as being Bible-believing Christians, is an oversimplification. Certainly there have been (and perhaps continue to be) Bible-believing Christians who marginalise blacks. But I suggest that Bible-believing Christians have not been the only ones to marginalise black people. Nor were Bible-believing Christians the only ones who sought the emancipation of blacks.

  4. joshvansant says:

    You seem to have used one of my blog posts to demonstrate one of the points in your article. I chose to approve the link because I believe that you’re entitled to your opinion. Neither one of us is able to convince the other of our point of view and I learnt a long time ago not to even try. The exercise is pointless. I do have one question for you though that perhaps you could shed some light on from a Christian perspective. When did homosexuality become such a passionate issue for Christians such as yourself? There are so many other things mentioned in the bible and other biblical texts that are akin to homosexuality, yet homosexuality seems to be the issue du jour. Why isn’t there such passion against adultery, one of the ten commandments no doubt? Why aren’t Christians rallying governments to change the laws to punish adulterers? And the sabbath? Why isn’t there a movement to enforce the biblical requirements of observing the sabbath? The ten commandments, as the word of god are the pillar of Judeo-Christian religion yet I do not see the same passion by people such as yourself to enforce these rules. Homosexuality however, which is discussed in texts written by man seems to be of a greater concern.. Hopefully you’ll be able to shed some light. Thank you.

    • stasisonline says:

      Hi Josh. Thank you for your cordial tone.
      I will answer sincerely. I cant speak for all Christians, because like gays, Christians are fairly diverse.

      Yes homosexual relations are just one of many sins identified in the Bible. Why is this one getting a disproportionate amount of attention?
      1. Well, many Christians are conservative in outlook, and that means that often we are not enthusiastic about change. And the move to gay marriage etc, is a big change. And it’s a change that is a step away from Biblical standards. Not a lot is changing in society in regards to other sins like adultery, but because things are changing in society in regards to homosexuality, this means homosexual relations are more on the radar.
      2. If gay relationships are okay, then the Bible is wrong. Most gay people, just want to be free to do gay things. They dont intend to destroy Christianity. But as homosexual practise becomes more accepted, it undermines Biblical Christianity, sometimes at an official level. EG if a school has a policy that homosexual relationships are acceptable, then can they at the same time, carry a Bible in the school library that says that such relationships are not okay? For both views to exist, it’s a conflict, and in cases of conflict usually one side prevails. The public affirmation of homosexual practise tends to mean marginalisation of Christianity. Few issues are as much of a threat to acceptance of Christianity in our culture, as this one. And this debate is not just a matter of Christians verses non-christians. My intended audience for my blog is Christians themselves – many of whom have rather shaky understandings of both homosexuality and what the Bible says about it.
      3. The Bible presents homosexual practise as being a big sin. Probably bigger than most. Why? I dont know. But it does.

      Speaking for myself, it’s became a favourite topic for me, after I came across a theological video that argued that monogamous gay relationships dont contravene the Bible. That video was deceptive in what it presented, and it took me many many hours of research to get to the bottom of whether the arguments presented in it were valid. I felt cheated and angry at how misleading it was, and so I created this blog to push back. Since then Ive found various other arguments that the gay world pushes that I likewise have tried to expose. EG the call for tolerance/plurality, that only exists until the gay voice is strong enough to squash the voices they dont like and tolerance/plurality quickly becomes forgotten. Or the call to let gay people be free to be gay on the basis that everyone will then happy, when in reality, even some gay people feel cheated when they find discrimination live and well in the gay world – in favour of those who are good looking – or they end up HIV+. But yes, Im also well aware there are myths about homosexuality that circulate amongst Christians too. Ive spent a fair amount of time this past week arguing on another site, against the false claim that gay people live on average 2 decades less than heterosexuals. I guess I see myself as a myth buster.

      I realise that homosexual orientation is a reality. I think it’s always been with humankind and it always will be. Christians and gays need to co-exist. Unfortunately both impact the other in the public sphere, and neither like that fact. Gays are probably thinking “we are just protecting our freedoms and our desire to be accepted” while Christians are thinking the same thing about themselves. If you have any solutions, Im all ears. I wish you well.

      • joshvansant says:

        The interpretation of the bible has changed as society has changed. You speak of homosexuality being a “step away from biblical standards” yet if you look at biblical texts you’ll have noticed how much has actually changed. One only needs to look at the various punishments inflicted on those that disobeyed God’s word to see how far we’ve come i.e stoning, death etc. A woman who was not a virgin on her wedding night was punished by death, adulterers were punished by death, taking the lords name in vain = death. These laws have changed as society has changed. Why is there no outcry about adultery or non-marital sex? Probably because we’ve seen that the world hasn’t fallen apart or endured God’s wrath due to changing interpretation of his word.

        Why make references to the bible for certain issues and then ignore others? If you’d prefer us to live as the bible says then why not call for a return to biblical law? Let’s reintroduce the death penalty for adultery, let’s marry our cousins and why don’t we take many wives while we’re at it? Let’s not eat pig, shellfish and let’s call for everyone to stop working on the sabbath as God instructed.

        I support you 100% in your beliefs. As a Christian you are allowed to live your life as you see fit and I respect your strong faith but your beliefs shouldn’t impact on my life. There are countries in the Arab world for example that still enforce traditional religious punishments and while I personally find them inhumane and barbaric they are based on the beliefs of millions of people. I cannot argue with that.

        My issue is when religious beliefs impact on my life as a citizen in a non-religious society. I live in a secular country and I am not Christian. Why should I have to conform to the beliefs of someone else, particularly when my actions have no detrimental impact on that person?

        Ultimately, what is it that Christians are worried about? If gay people are given equal rights, or even viewed as equal to heterosexual people, what is the worst that can happen? What are you all afraid of?

        My right to marry the person I love for example, has nothing to do with Christians, or Jews or Muslims. I don’t need a priest to welcome me into his Church or a Rabbi to marry me in a Synagogue. What I do need is for religion to be kept separate from secular law.

      • stasisonline says:

        Thanks for your reply, Josh. Your reply hightlights to me the need for me to continue to try to educate people about this topic, and the associated issues. I think I read that you attended a Catholic school? The claims you make in your reply, are ones I hear time and again. It’s an indictment on the Catholic school system that people attend Catholic schools and yet misunderstand Catholicism so much.

        The Bible does not encourage people to marry their cousins (Leviticus 18:6). It discourages polygamy (Titus 1:6). Jesus seemed to oppose the death penalty (John 8:7). Ultimately, the Bible does not teach that a Christian cant eat pig or shellfish (Mark 7:18-19). Did your school teach you not to eat pig or shellfish? Probably not. Why? Because “society has moved on”? No, because Catholics and Christians in general have never abstained from pigs or shellfish. You seem to be referring to Old Testament/Jewish teachings rather than Christian ones. It’s a common mistake.

        Why is there no outcry about adultery or non-marital sex? Youre probably right that familiarity with the situation means that Christians are less upset. I kinda covered that in my previous reply.

        Why make references to the bible for certain issues and not others? My blog cant cover everything. I have to work too! Ive chosen a speciality to focus on. Other Christians find their own specialisations. I see nothing wrong with that.

        What are we Christians afraid of? I kinda covered that in my previous reply too. Im afraid that people are misunderstanding what the Bible says about homosexuality. This includes misunderstanding by Christians themselves. And we are afraid of the increasing tendency for homosexual rights trumping Christian rights. EG street preachers who quote the Bible, being carted off by police for being ‘intolerant’, employers who require staff to be not just neutral about homosexuality but to be homosexual advocates, ignoring their religious rights. We are afraid of the gay couple in the UK who are attempting to sue a church for not marrying them.

        Look I basically agree with you that non-Christians should be free to live non-Christian lives. Im not here to advocate a Christian theocracy. As I mentioned in my previous reply; “My intended audience for my blog is Christians themselves – many of whom have rather shaky understandings of both homosexuality and what the Bible says about it.” Im trying to educate Christians. Best wishes.

  5. kirksroom says:

    Christians wouidn’t need rights against being arrested, and gay couples wouldn’t need to sue a church for not marrying them, if the church did marry them, and if Christians would stop being against homosexuality.

    The Bible is wrong.

    It’s an anachronism in the modern age and should be thrown out altogether.

    There I said it.

    Honestly I don’t even blame you for your opinions. All you’re doing is trying to respect the Bible and doing an admirable job of it unfortunately. It’s the unholy book that’s wrong.

  6. […] He perhaps understood it better than some today, who pride themselves on their modern (yet incorrect) understanding of homosexuality as being simply heterosexuality but between members of the same […]

  7. […] youre well informed about gay culture, you know that it doesnt match heterosexual culture. And you know that gay men are often not very keen on […]

  8. […] the report also includes unsubstantiated and specious claims such as the following from page 48 […]

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